A message from squatsandsunsets
You're gorgeous! *__* :)

thank you :)

Listen up, I have a confession New Years is coming up…

so the other day a friend of mine and I were talking about New Year resolutions and the truth is.. I think they’re bullshit. Last year I didn’t make any and as usually my year had ups and downs (got 400€ stolen, fought depression and anxiety and 3 weeks ago I lost my home to a “natural” disaster and had to cancel xmas).

Going through all this shit, being broke most of the year I got so much more confident, after I stopped updating this blog I also stopped worrying so much about my looks and my anxiety level dropped. I became way stronger and although I’m not a 100% yet the anger and sadness that used to take over my life has died down.

I still feel lonely, sad and I worry about the future sometimes, but not making any New Year resolutions also kept me from having unrealistic goals to complete. Might work for some but not for me.

I could probably have lost a lot of weight, met somebody, not been alone when I needed to feel loved and held.

But you know what? Without even wishing for it I now feel like a stable member of society, I’m getting ready to graduate from college, I got a job with some really fun people who motivate me, and though I’m now sitting in a hotel basically homeless and I have no lips to kiss goodnight,

I’m happy.

A message from Anonymous
Dyed my hair today and thought about you gorgeous! It's now dark brown with a reddish spark! Also started pole dance. I'm back on my "taking care of myself" way, and I love it! <3

Good for you! Keep going & never stop, I always say it’s good to be selfish sometimes everybody needs a little time for themselves!

I swear I have the weirdest appetite sometimes,

Today I ate

  • 4 figs for breakfast,
  • didn’t have lunch because I didn’t feel hungry at all,
  • and then ate 2 corn on the cob for dinner
  • drank 3L of water & had a coffee

and I feel totally fine.

Yesterday I just had dinner which consisted of a Spinach Feta pizza.

I swear sometimes the only way for me to eat a full meal is to either be totally stoned (which doesn’t happen very often now days, at all) or to drink 2 or 3 glasses of wine before.

I have to point out eating 3 meals during the day usually makes me quite sick, and that’s partially why I have a shitty metabolism.

But what the fuck, no wonder why I’ve been stuck at the same weight for ages. 


Fig season!


Fig season!

Canon EOS 40D
4,50€ for all this at the Fischmarkt in Hamburg, Yum!
Organic yeah!

4,50€ for all this at the Fischmarkt in Hamburg, Yum!

Organic yeah!

Tomorrow is a new day & I’m joining a new gym! Yeah!!

A message from bakabakachild
Hello♥ I just read your post about feeling lonely, having hard time...I feel really sorry and I wish i could help you somehow. I just wanted to tell you, that your life is about your dreams, not dreams of your parents. I love my parents too, ofcourse I don't want them to see me as failiture, but after all, we're just humans and it's okay to fu*k up sometimes, it's okay that you're not always number 1. Just do things, that makes you happy, try to find possitive side of things you don't like.

My followers are so sweet <3 Thanks for taking the time to write this.

The truth is I depend on my parents a lot financially so fucking up isn’t really an option if not I’d be cut off, and then I’d have to leave my dreams behind. The problem is working on my dreams for a career take a lot of time & energy that I’ve been seriously lacking off for the last few years (even though I’m sure some people in my situation could do better) but yeah I feel like I’m missing out on the things that are actually important to me.

Having been home schooled (I missed a lot of teenage moments) when I was in high school, I just feel a bit like I’m back in that same hole I was in then and it’s so frustrating because I didn’t imagine myself being there at this age.

I have so many great things that I can’t complain about in my life, that a lot of people aren’t fortunate enough to have but I just need that little something more and I can never seem to get it… drives me mad.

Ah shit I need a hug. 

A message from temple-of-cats
I'm sad that you're lonely because I feel exactly the same, and it's shit, and I want you to be happy because everyone deserves to be happy living their day-to-day life. It's not that much to ask for, to be content at the very least.

Thanks  a lot, it’s true sometimes it feels like it’s not a lot to ask for but you end up spending more time begging and trying for the little things to get better than actually seeing the things that are good in your life… it’s really putting me down I hate being stuck in this mood :( hope it gets better for you too.